tabasco bandit

i don’t know if i’ve talked about this here or not, but since i can’t find a post about it now’s the time to vent.

i hate it when people take communal bottles of hot sauce to their tables at restaurants!!!!

you know how it goes. lower end establishments have a few bottles of ketchup, mustard, maybe ranch dressing, and hot sauce at the counter for you to either put on your food there, take it to your table to return it immediately, or put in a cup/dish to take back to your table. this does not mean take the bottle to your table. the people who do that obviously piss me off. way to monopolize the tabasco, jerk face!

i encounter this most at bongo burger (every location) and at first i was polite, but now i’m down right hostile. it’s not my fault, it’s all the jerks who try to hide the tobasco for themselves. just today some dude got mad because i took back the tabasco. he took one of two bottles back to his table. i asked him if i could use it. he said, “well…” (looking somewhat put out), “i need it.”

“so do i.”

“can i use it first?”

“sure.” he then looked at me as he tried to empty the bottle. when he sat it down to see if his burger was sufficiently covered i grabbed the bottle, used it, and returned it to the counter. when i got back to my table he asked me why i did that, and i told him that the tabasco was for everybody not just him. he told me he wasn’t done with it, and i told him to go use it at the counter like guy emptying the bottle just then. he was sort pissed.

5 minutes later i spot the other bottle of tabasco. it was full and i needed more. so i walked over, asked to use it, was ignored so i took it. again, the people at the table complained but i told them not to be so selfish and they can use it at the counter like everybody else. when i brought the second bottle over, the manager laughed and thanked me for being so vigilant in the fight against the condiment hogs.

he jokes about it everytime he see me do it, which is often. i’ve drumped ketchup on people, gotten tabasco on text books, spilled sodas, lots of petty and vindictive things against tabasco thieves. you know what? i’ve done it for the crystal hot sauce at smart alec’s too. you know why? selfish people bug me, and this is the one way i feel i can shut them down.

i’m a small person.

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