NOTHING BUT OWLS!
July 31st, 2007

you think i’m jaded?

for some reason, people have been calling me jaded a lot recently. robojoe was the most recent person to say that when i didn’t seem enthusiastic enough about the american experience about the first transatlantic telegraph cable. i really enjoyed the program and was quite eager to talk about victorian innovation, but apparently it wasn’t enough.

usually when people call me jaded it’s in regards to music or politics. i will concede that i might be more weary and less optimistic than lots of people when it comes to politics- i can’t feign enthusiasm for anybody (but gordon brown) when no politician (but gordon brown) seems to actually care about helping their constituents.  (i’m not entirely serious about gordon brown, but you get the point.) when people accuse me of being jaded with music… well…

that’s more outrageous to me. am i well versed in lots of different genres? i work on it. am i overly cranky about the flavour-of-the-month? only when that flavour is all style and little to no substance. i think a lot of this crankiness stems from having seen it all before (ok, that sounds jaded). i know the what’s hot changes from season to season, but after a few years you can see the trends of what people flock to. you shouldn’t hate a band because it’s hot in brooklyn and on pitchfork, but that also doesn’t mean you should blindly like it. whatever. i’ve whined about all this crap before. the point is- if people like music, they like music. it shouldn’t be a big deal if somebody else doesn’t like that music. robojoe doesn’t like sido at all, but that’s ok. i don’t love tupac. i can’t get overly happy about operation ivy, but i also can’t too angry at the ignorant masses who refuse to admit that sweet baby is the best band ever.

opinions are like assholes- everybody has one. what sparked this new version of the same old rant? andrew balazs of backseat driver just discovered my rant about the 40th anniversary of sgt. peppers and decided to “school” me. he didn’t appreciate my opinion that pete townshend was a better song writer than lennon or mccartney. i guess he couldn’t argue with ray davies, so we’ll just take it as fact that the kinks were better than the beatles. so, mr. balazs, let me thank you for leaving such a colourful comment. it’s clear to me that you like the beatles, a lot.
i was like that when i was 13. i’d listen to revolver (yeah, i’ve heard it and own it) and rubber soul ad nauseum. i remember when my bff jill and i would have monthly viewings of help! and a hard day’s night, complete with voodoo burnings of paul mccartney’s picture. (sounds immature, doesn’t it?) one great thing about the beatles’ catalog only being recorded in 8 years, is that you can really listen to every song. i did. some were good, many were ok, and some where terrible. i know i’m not the only person to think that, but i also know lots of people will want to tar and feather me. isn’t that right, mr. balazs? of the songs you suggest i listen to, here’s what i think:

  • Blue Jay Way – a good attempt for psychedelia, but overall the song is rather self indulgent and extremely dated in a bad way.
  • I’m Only Sleeping – not terrible, but certainly not the best song on revolver. i’d much prefer “and your bird can sing”.
  • Don’t Let Me Down – terrible. not a gem of a b-side at all.
  • Michelle – one of the most boring pop songs in the history of the world. another snoozer.  slow and dull. i really hate this song. if i’m listening to rubber soul, i’d rather head “wait” or  actually any other song on that album (save for “drive my car”).
  • Tomorrow Never Knows – another terribly dated song. not completely horrible, but not worth listening to a bunch. good thing it’s at the end of a side.
  • Your Mother Should Know – another example of pure mccartney cack. thinking about it now, there’s not much redeemable about magicla mystery tour, is there? maybe the bonzo dog band?
  • A Day in the Life – i like this song every so often, and it’s one of the better songs on sgt. pepper, but it’s also complete nonsense. don’t act like it isn’t.
  • The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill – meh. it’s ok. it’s one of the more forgettable songs on the white album. i mean, it’s not as good as “while my guitar gently weeps” or “don’t pass me by”.

so there you have it. i might be jaded, but it’s not because i don’t like the beatles. the beatles were an important gateway into british invasion music for me. they just got dull, but so did most things after 1966. so i don’t have a problem with people still worshiping the beatles. i have a problem with people blindly worshiping the beatles, ignoring other bands from the era. the who were doing pretty revolutionary stuff with their arrangements, but i’m not sure mr. balazs has actually heard all their songs. and as far as musical arranging and rhythm goes, pete townshend was much more interesting/compelling than lennon mccartney. (i say this as somebody who like to rock.) blah. i need my shot.

in closing- the beatles aren’t pure crap, but they still aren’t as good as people make them out to be, in my opinion. the kinks are now officially the best band from britain. these are my opinions, and if you’re too insecure for that, go ahead and moan about me being jaded. sweet baby may not actually be the best band ever, but neither is operation ivy. (it’s probably actually the hi-fives.)

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by kendra | Posted in anglo crap, blagg, music, rants | 5 Comments » |
July 31st, 2007

hooked up



hooked up, originally uploaded by kendrak.

that is my arm with the chemo drip. notice the string wrapped around my wrist. i did it over a month ago on a whim, but now it’s just to show robojoe that i can keep it till it falls off. it’s amazing what spite can do.

thursday was my second to last chemo treatment and i’m definitely getting a little sad about it. i’m looking forward to post-cancer life, but i also have some attachment to the nurses in the clinic and i don’t really want to say goodbye. this week we figured out that one of the nurses is a total nerd when she let it slip she’d read a pirated copy of the new harry potter book. we had a good laugh about it, and then talked about other computer stuff. i think next week i’ll bring something to thank them all for taking care of me and my crappy veins.

this weekend was more of the same- numbness and pain. i got some school stuff done, but i really didn’t feel like it. instead we finished off the briscoe county jr. dvds, watched steve coogan’s tristram shandy movie (which was weird and saved by rob brydon’s alan partridge impersonations), and moaned about my numb feet.

i’m back at work today and i sort of wish i wasn’t.

by kendra | Posted in blagg | No Comments » |
July 30th, 2007

cleaning up.

it’s hard to make awesome websites in dreamweaver when you don’t know how to use the program, your hands are numb, and your head hurts like the dickens. i’m still trying though. i’m also thinking about the future… what am i going to do next month when i’m done with chemo? party like i’m dying!

not really.

i am going to clean up my image though. i want to be less of an ill-fitted slacker and more of a put together professional. of course for me “put together professional” means mod-like style. it’s sad, but i’ve already found a couple of fred perry’s and ben sherman shirts which strike my fancy- and they’re for women. i know that last bit might not sound like a victory, but it is. i know i’m pretty strict when it comes to style and cut, and most women’s clothing fails on both accounts, but i’ll just be ready to hunt and pay for things i like. this means no weird hems, no weird seams, no weird/missing buttons, no funky fabrics- just painfully plain, clean lines. it’s funny… i can’t really get away from my wannabe mod past. i’m not going to wear a fred perry shirt till my hair grows back for fear of being mistaken for a skinhead. i’m not a skinhead.

by kendra | Posted in blagg | No Comments » |
July 30th, 2007

why do all the librarians on tv sell out their patrons?

well, not all librarians, but quite a goodly number. i’m home from work today learning the ropes of dreamweaver, reading about library web design, and trying to ignore the pain all over. (i’ll talk about that later in my post chemo wrap up.) i’m also sort of watching law & order, and just now a librarian was all too willing to hand over circulation data to the detectives. i’ve seen this device used in a number of detective shows and each time it really irritates me. protection of patron privacy is one of the cornerstones of library science. i know it’s convenient to the plot, but i seriously doubt a detective as charming as lenny briscoe could walk into a university library and ask about people in the library on a given night, only to be offered up everybody who borrowed a book that night. if he tried that on me, i’d tell him to take a hike. i just wish the consultants would get it right.

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by kendra | Posted in blagg | 2 Comments » |
July 28th, 2007

taste test: salt and vinegar

today robojoe and i had a taste test of salt and vinegar potato chips. i can feel the dead taste buds in my mouth and i thought the vinegar would cut through them. it worked… a little too well. of the three bags we tried the ranking went like this:

  • lays- thin, crispy, nice and tart. i dub these the winner.
  • kettle chips- thick, very pungent (perhaps too much). not bad, but not as good as lays.
  • tim’s cascade- thick, not very flavourful compared to the lay’s, but the taste grew with a couple of bites.

overall, i think i liked the lays the best. the kettle chips and tim’s cascade were all right, but not as even overall. the only problem with this test was that my mouth became extremely sore from all the vinegar. it still sort of hurts two pieces of gum later.

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by kendra | Posted in blagg, food | No Comments » |
July 27th, 2007

delusional…

i know it’s been a while since i complained about one of my least favourite american soccer players- landon donovan. i just read this blurb about why he’s not ready for the premiership:

“The older I get and the more I play, the more I’m yearning for that highest level I can play at and I think the Premiership would be the best place the play,” he told Sky Sports News.

“If I were to go obviously the language isn’t an issue. There are a lot of Americans there. It would be the easiest place the settle, Germany was difficult.

“At the moment I’m happy here, at least for the next few years with Dave (Beckham) here. I want to be a part of this too. Not many people get to be a part of this, so I want to live it.”

dave? who ever calls beckham dave? he’s not going to be much better, and if english clubs don’t want him now, i don’t know what his value will be in a few years. instead the over-sized baby wants to hang out with women, sun, and hamburgers.  it’s good to see his priorities are in order.

—————-
Now playing: The Milkshakes – [Still Talking Bout...] Time’s Against You
via FoxyTunes

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by kendra | Posted in blagg, sport | 1 Comment » |
July 26th, 2007

pancakes!

i just made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast because i could. chemo aside, this week as seriously been nothing but bunk. school is heating up with lots of group projects and one of my groups is one of the most dysfunctional groups i’ve dealt with in the history of my academica career. it’s worse that group i was in in second grade where everybody in my group ignored me when we were supposed to make a map of asia because they didn’t like how i coloured. i don’t know what to do with this group other than keep asking for them to talk to me on the message boards and plan what we need to do next. instead, they talk on the phone in collusion, tell me what i need to do after the fact and then get mad that what i did doesn’t fit what they did (whilst it does fit was the project wants). ugh. it may be time to ask the professor for some advice.

i should get dressed for chemo, but i can’t stop reading about computer networks. i mean, i would like to stop because it’s dull and makes no sense, but i can’t because i have to finish this 150 page chapter about the network layer. it probably wouldn’t be so bad, but the textbook is way too detailed on over my head. even ivymike was surprised they were having information science bumpkins like myself going over routing algorithms in such detail. at least i don’t have a group project in this- only a 10-20 page paper. robojoe’s excited about the paper, but he’s also excited about the class.

by kendra | Posted in blagg | 2 Comments » |
July 22nd, 2007

free advice no. 53

i know it’s been ages, months even, since i’ve dispensed my free advice. now that chemo’s winding down, i figure it’s a good time to start up the advice again. it’s a little rough since i’ve been out of the advice racket for so long, so we’ll take it easy. how about it, prudie?

Dear [Kendra], 

I am the mother of two girls, ages 2 and 4. I also have two nieces who are 3 and 4. They play together often and are typical, energetic little girls. I am concerned about something my 4-year-old said to me recently. We have discussed modesty and she understands that we keep our private parts covered, but I’ve tried not to make it an overly big deal. I recently allowed her to skinny-dip in her grandmother’s swimming pool. The next day, she asked me if she could skinny-dip again with her cousins next time we’re at Grammy’s. Then she said she and her 4-year-old cousin like to “rub our butts together.” I did see them doing this while changing clothes to go swimming. They were standing up and danced back to back and laughed. I just told them they were silly and diverted them to the pool. I asked her why she wanted to do that and she said ” ’cause it’s fun and it feels good.” The last thing I want is to make her feel dirty or suggest that she is bad for doing this. But I don’t want her to disrespect her body, either. Should I forbid this? Simply discourage it? While I was never abused, I do feel like I was sexualized much too young, and wish my mom had taught me to cherish my body. Unfortunately, she didn’t, so I’m not sure how to teach my daughters this.


—Worried Mom

dear worried mom,

i think you’re worrying a little too much. it’s not to say that you shouldn’t worry about your daughter or other little girls being sexualized too young, but two 4 year-olds rubbing their butts together and giggling is not the same thing as having sex or masturbation. kids just do these sorts of things. so for now, try to relax a bit and keep an eye on things.

i hope this helps.

Dear [Kendra],

Over the past 20 years, I had the chance to help my mother financially with a check every month. I know that my mother was a private person and never wanted to be a burden to her eight children. A few years back, I got sick and had to leave the part-time job that allowed me to help her. I couldn’t continue to send my mother money from the one job that I had. A counselor suggested that I contact my brothers and sisters to see if they could help out by sending her something each month. I wrote what I thought was a loving letter to each of them, seeking help. I told mom about this letter after it had been sent out. She was very quiet when we talked and I knew that something was wrong. This happened in November, and at the time, my mother withdrew from a lot of family activities. She didn’t even attend the Christmas celebration at the clubhouse where she lived and that she had rented for all the family to gather. Shortly after New Year’s, she died. Over these past three years I have been so full of guilt that sending the letter made her feel like a burden to her family, and she just gave up and died. How do I get over the guilt of this? How do I say I am sorry to my family?

—Sad and Sorry Son

dear sad and sorry,

guilt’s a funny thing. most of the people who feel guilt shouldn’t, and those who should feel guilty don’t. i don’t know why that is. the point is though, your letter didn’t kill your mother, so get that out of your head. it’s unfortunate that your mother withdrew as she did at the end, but that was her decision. have your siblings blamed you for it? you don’t say, so i’ll assume no. sounds like you’re beating yourself up more than anything, which isn’t productive. stay in therapy and get through this.

i hope this helps.

Dear [Kendra],

I feel like I’m one of the truly lucky ones. I’m in love with my best friend, have a great job, and amazing friends and family. I am 27, my love is 34, and he has two boys, ages 14 and 11. I don’t have any children of my own, unless I’m allowed to claim his amazing boys. After his divorce, he took steps to make sure that he would have no more kids. When we started dating, he was open and honest about the situation, and I was honest with him about wanting to have a family of my own. I think walking in, neither of us expected to fall in love, but here we are. We split up for a few weeks because of the baby issue, but he came back to me, saying that he would consider having one baby with me if I would just come home. He said he will do whatever it takes to keep me in his life. So, I moved back in, he’s a man of his word, and I love him. I know that he doesn’t want to have another baby, but he will to keep me happy. I know that he would love that baby and be an amazing dad, just like he is with his boys. How do I decide to have a child with this man, knowing that this is not what he wants? Should I give up the dream of having my own family and enjoy what we have now?

—Baby Hungry

dear baby hungry,

sounds like you’re in a mess. he wants to make you happy but doesn’t want a baby, you want to be with him but want a baby. sounds like a lose-lose situation to me. before you pressure you boyfriend to reverse his vasectomy, get a date for the wedding set. if he won’t get the vasectomy reversed, then i think that’s a good sign that you need to either get used to the idea of not having your own baby and be with him or cut your losses and look for another sperm donor. i know neither of you want to see it like that, but it’s better to figure this out now, rather than after you’re married or more entwined financially and emotionally.

i hope this helps.

Dear [Kendra],

I am a fairly happy newlywed. The first time I met my husband, I thought he was gay. Even months into our friendship, I still thought he was. Then he asked me out and we kissed and I was convinced otherwise. Now I am constantly flooded with suspicions. It’s driving me crazy. I sometimes catch him staring at a man or standing in a weird way. When we first started dating, one of his jerky friends told me that they’d had sex. I was told that was a joke. Just when I’ve convinced myself that I’m wrong, he goes and screams like a girl or crosses his legs or doesn’t ask for sex or doesn’t tell me I’m sexy or any number of things that are driving me bonkers. I’ve confronted him a couple times and he denies it up and down, but gets kind of defensive. I’m getting miserable.

—Suspicious Wife

dear suspicious wife,

i’m sorry. don’t be miserable. the crossing legs, standing just so, whatever- it doesn’t mean he’s gay. my normal test for whether or not somebody’s gay is if they like to have sex with members of the same sex. until you’ve caught your husband and his “friend” having these sorts of relations, you don’t really have proof. the not telling you you’re sexy and and not wanting to have sex with you- those are big red flads to me. i’m a little surprised you made it all the way down the aisle. if the lack of affection and support bugs you you should level with him. trust me, it sucks when you feel ugly because nobody tells you you’re pretty. you don’t deserve that.

i hope this helps.

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by kendra | Posted in blagg, free advice | 2 Comments » |
July 18th, 2007

harry potter porn!?!?

if jk rowling was as smart as people make her out to be, she would have leaked lots of fake versions of the last harry potter book online, but instead there’s just some weak (although believably bloated) fanfiction floating around the internet. that’s not to say that the real version’s not out there (i’ve seen it), but there are some amazingly intense efforts out there. nobody wants to wade through 100 pages of a pdf before they come across a sex scene where ginny wears a “*sexy* black bikini”. that’s a pretty good way to tip people off that it’s fake. i mean, i really can’t believe jk rowling would describe anybody’s bikini as sexy in any of these books. that’s not for the kids, is it?

WARNING: i’m linking to spoilers from here on out. if you’re freaked out about harry potter, then stop reading this post. you’ve been warned.

it’s sort of funny trying to find these spoilers. i read the first six books over the course of a week via pdfs. i’m not really emotionally invested in the series, but i would like to know how it all ends. it’s also fascinating how people have totally flipped out. searching technorati for “harry potter spoilers” turn up over 9,000 posts at the moment, though i’m guessing close to 8,500 of them are people complaining about the existence of said spoilers without really spoiling anything. i can easily see how annoying it is, and there’s a definite mania going through the intertubes. this one blog post at the house of zathras caputres the frustration pretty well- even harry potter fans are getting fed up with the hysteria. it’s pretty amusing. this one livejournal post talks about the spoilers in a roundabout way, focusing on what it means for fanfiction. though i find fanfiction to be largely laughable (i had a bad experience with some recess fanfiction and the angry mob), the publication of deathly hallows does really affect a sizable community that has put a lot of effort into writing a lot of text. it makes sense that the harry potter fanfic community has had lots of room to grow in the time it’s taken jk rowling to finish the last book, so much so that the harry potter universe has become something more than rowling can really control. i mean, the fans have made their own universes! (that seems really web 2.0!)

the best thing i found about the harry potter spoilers has to be this fake conversation between dora the explorer and her sidekick boots the monkey. first- why would dora and boots care? second- dora’s target demographic doesn’t really type like that (if at all). third- lol!!11!!one!!1 the second best thing is this youtube clip of eater x spoiling you all at the hotdog eating contest. i never really liked eater x- i always thought he was all show considering he never placed very high- but this clip made me like him a little.

oh, and here’s the spoiler- snake kills bumblebee!!!

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by kendra | Posted in blagg | 3 Comments » |
July 16th, 2007

one eye maude



one eye, originally uploaded by kendrak.

it’s been a while since i posted a picture of maude, so i figured why not post this one? i think it’s from thursday post-chemo. she’s been really good at begging for attention lately, but she hasn’t been so keen on carrot or apples. it’s weird. i don’t know what she wants, and when i give her treats she seems disinterested yet she won’t stop wheeing. oh well. she’s cute and i think she likes me.

by kendra | Posted in guinea pigs | 2 Comments » | Tags:
July 16th, 2007

oh, my arms!



hugs, originally uploaded by kendrak.

i haven’t blogged much lately because chemo thursday took me out of commission. it wasn’t really that bad. i figured out why i sleep through all of the taxol treatments- the benadryl drip they start me off with makes me really drowsy. chemo saw me taking a big nap, eating a salad, and then arguing with robojoe about computer networking. oh, i also had to wait an hour to get into the chair because there was a crazy back up. one guy snapped at me in the waiting room, letting me know that his wife had cancer. i could have smacked him and told him i did too, but i just smiled and waited some more.

the thing with the taxol is i feel ok thursday, fine friday, a little sicky on saturday, and completely dead sunday. i seriously though i had the flu or something. imagine being put into a tumble dryer for an hour on high. that’s how i felt yesterday. i also had to write an essay about netvibes. today i feel a bit better, but i’m still sore and achey all over and tired as hell. they’re sending me home from work right now because i guess i look that pathetic.

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by kendra | Posted in personal stuff | 1 Comment » | Tags: ,
July 10th, 2007

right field.



right field., originally uploaded by kendrak.

this is a picture of some of the fans that sit in the right field bleachers every game. i admit i’m a bit jealous that they not only have the time but the dedication to be there for 80 something games a season. next season i think i’ll get a partial season ticket- night and weekend games. it’ll be worth it once this cancer thing is dead.

so robojoe and i went to the a’s game on friday night with his sister, jenn, and some of jenn’s friends. i was feeling sort of crappy earlier in the day, and i had to juggle phone calls from class mates before the first pitch, but over all the game was ok. sure, the a’s lost (as was expected), but we got to remind jose guillen that he sucks. there was one guy who just kept a steady stream of mild abuse for most of the game. i would interject now and then, but this guy was solid. around the 8th inning we all got rowdier and more creative, and it finally got to guillen. he tried that not so subtle trick of giving us the finger behind his back. of course this made us shout for more. in the bottom of the 9th, right before the last play, he actually turned around and flipped us all off! somebody needs to calm down a little bit. i wish i took pictures of that.

we’re going on tuesday. it’s going to be dan haren jersey day. victor diaz, get ready!

by kendra | Posted in personal stuff, sport | No Comments » | Tags: ,
July 9th, 2007

haren to start!

dan haren will be the starting a.l. pitcher in the all star game! despite not doing too well the other day, he’s finally rewarded some overdue recognition. maybe now he will dethrone blanton as the a’s pitcher everybody’s talking about today.

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by kendra | Posted in news stuff, sport | 7 Comments » | Tags: ,
July 8th, 2007

attack of the hipster librarians.

thanks to everybody who has sent me the new york times article about the rise of histper librarians. for those of you who’ve some how managed to miss it, basically somewhere in brooklyn (where there is a critial mass of trendy kids) there’s a regular meet up of hip librarians. they sit around, talk about how awesome and cool they are as librarians because they’re young and hip. it’s a new trend in librarianship, if you didn’t know.  goodbye bunhead, hello cute girl with plastic rim glasses and a bad haircut. (oh wait, that’d be me.)

it’s hard not to make fun of this article. there are many different library blogs that have already lambasted the article. it might show that one stereotype of the typical librarian is on the way out (the uptight, quiet, shushing bunhead), as free range librarian points out the profession is still largely white and largely female. not much is changing on that front. i think pop goes the librarian articulates what’s wrong with the article, and to a certain extent the willingness to embrace the image of the hipster librarian:

When I see a group all eager to promote one way of being a librarian, I’m not going to follow that crowd. I may do all the things they do, but I don’t look like they do. And that’s okay, you know? For both them and me, our outward appearances don’t affect the tasks we do, the service we give. I just hate the thought that in some minds, appearances and performance are linked, and the only way you can be a cool librarian is to have an eyebrow piercing or go out for drinks that are identified by Dewey call numbers.

i know this is a bit rich coming from me, somebody with a tattoo (more to come post chemo) and a lip ring, but i don’t think that should make me a member of some club. i sometime joke that i need more tattoos as a networking tool and career development because then i’d be easily marketed as a hip or alterna librarian. it’s sad that there’s that trend in the library profession, but it’s somewhat true.

one of my student employees joked that the article was about my people. to her my people include anybody wearing a black hoodie, glasses, and plaid shirts. i guess it is, but i’d rather work with passionate librarians who have pride in their work and excellent service than some my age who happen to like similar things. the article is very shallow, but then again it wasn’t really written for librarians.

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by kendra | Posted in blagg, library work | 8 Comments » | Tags: ,
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