it’s getting to be summer time when i let my feet out of my shoes and into a pair of sandals. i used to hate sandals, but they really keep my feet cool (which is important since we don’t have air conditioning here). the problem is that most sandals are ugly as sin, at least according to my own personal aesthetic. now, i understand that part of it is related to the form and function of sandals, but there are styles that seem to be egregiously hideous. that’s why i chose the very benign and plain pair of black reefs. they’re not the coolest looking things, but they’re boring and relatively unoffensive. i think that’s my style, save for the ugly plaid shirts.
anyhow, allow me to climb up on my soap box and complain about two pairs of shoes that may be functional but are some of the ugliest things you can put on your feet. what makes it worse, is that these sins of fashion are insanely popular with certain crowds and can be seen all over the place. the offenders? crocs and keen shoes.
crocs may be the most comfortable shoes on the planet, but they look stupid. you can get them in a variety of colours, many of which are quite ghastly and most likely meant to be whimsical. but oh, they are so comfortable, so their hideousness can be overlooked. that’s a lame excuse. maybe if you were a surgeon and that was your uniform (i don’t think either of my surgeons wore crocs), but that’s not the same as running around town. i guess it’s the ugly partner of the velour track suit. i think manolo the shoeblogger puts it best:
These they are indeed the shoes of a hypothetical distopian future, one in which the inmates they must be dressed in the footwear least likely to be useful in the popular uprising against the regime.
Yes, the defenders of the Crocs they will speak, as the defenders of the ugly often do, of the great comfort of this “shoe”. Manolo asks you, why must the “comfort” always be the war cry of those who would lead us into the bad shoes?
Manolo says, comfort and style they are not incompatable, one does not obviate the other.
of course the crocs people are in good company. president bush, fashion maven he is, wears them. crocs also make you more likely to lose your toes in an escalator. at first i didn’t believe it, but sure enough there’s an epidemic of kids and adults getting their toes sucked into the stairs of escalators. i guess that’s comfortable…
as for keen shoes… i think it’s the same as the crocs. supporters will tell me they’re so comfortable and rugged. to me, they look like post-modern idea of hippy clown shoes. do the toes have to be so big? oh, i guess they’re quirky that way. i could see it if there was some functionality to the quirk, but there isn’t. instead, it’s a bunch of money for ugly shoes that convince you it’s worth it. i say this knowing many people who wear them. wearing them is one thing, telling me they’re cool is another. though most people who can afford those sandals are old enough not say “cool’, but will tout their functionality and comfort. i guess some people will say the cool kids wear them, but i think these people have an entirely different definition of “cool kid” than i do.
with both shoes, i think the “quirky” design doesn’t actually improve function, it just makes it ugly enough for a some people to see them as exciting or different enough to justify the fad. others don’t really care that they’re wearing clown shoes because they’re more concerned with comfort. if that’s the case, don’t get mad when i say you’re wearing clown shoes, because if you really were only concerned with comfort you don’t care about how they look. i’m probably also lumping in a lot of other stuff with my irritation for these shoes- a lot of annoying people who have many other annoying traits- driving a volvo or prius, falling for terry gross’ shenanigans, tepid moral outrage about lots of stuff but not actually doing anything about anything- tend to like these shoes. (that’s not to say that everybody who wears these shoes fits the profile, they’re just more likely.) it’s like a perfect storm- the shoes bug me, the wearers bug me, which make me dislike the shoes more.
man, robojoe think’s i’m crazy. i probably am. i just hate those shoes. oh well. i’m all ranty.
Technorati Tags: ugly shoes, crocs, keen footwear
