i don’t know why i just now jumped on the band wagon, but i finally upped and joined librarything. my catalog looks pretty dumb right now. ooh, i like dead white guys and old things.

Technorati Tags: librarything, books, reading

the last business day of the month is always pretty stressful here at the library. we do indexing and abstracting for the tris database, and our monthly quotas are due that day. this weekend i squeezed some indexing in between homework to help the cause. i was up pretty late trying to index one magazine, but i couldn’t find the records. it turns out that one of the other librarians did them to help me out, but i didn’t know it at the time so i panicked.

the morning of the deadline is always a day where those involved in the indexing and abstracting need coffee. perhaps more than any other morning. today i came in, apologized for not finishing one of the magazines, found out somebody already did it, and then tried to make coffee. it wasn’t until the water was in the coffee maker and i was putting the grounds in the filter did i see we were out of coffee. we had enough for maybe a 4-cup pot, but not the 8-cup pot i was trying to brew. there was a pound of coffee in the fridge, but it turned out to be whole bean and we don’t have a grinder. one of the other coffee drinking librarians here also panicked and quickly rushed out to buy more coffee. right now i just need caffeine. sad, innit?

Technorati Tags: work, coffee, crisis

blue hair, originally uploaded by kendrak.

erika dyed my hair last night and now maude doesn’t know who i am.

back to work!, originally uploaded by kendrak.

i went back to work last week, and here’s a picture of it. see me and my new coffee mug, captain pervert? the old director left it. it’s amazing. it fits two whole cups of coffee in it!!!

1 week from today will be my first chemo treatment. they could have started on 1 may, but that would have interfered with plans to see morrissey that night, and since i already spent a stupid amount of money on the ticket, chemo would have to wait. before i start the treatment i had to go through a chemo class where they tell you what to do (or not to do) and what to expect.

it was sort of weird.

they had folders for each of us, with our schedules for up coming appointments, prescriptions, information about our types of cancer, and our specific chemotherapy. i should really remember which drugs i’m getting, but i know it’s the same aggressive regiment they’ve used for decades, probably the same one my mom had last time, and the one that starts with an “a” is bright red and will make my pee turn red. i also know i will lose my hair and probably be sick, but i have pills to counteract that. hopefully the medicine will work or it won’t be an issue.

the class was an interesting mix. i was one of the only people without a buddy and the only person under 35. there was this one woman who looked to be between 35 and 40, but it was hard to tell since she was acting pretty ditzy (think: fake sarah jessica parker) and her husband/sugar daddy looked to be her biological dad (minus the ass grabbing). i tried to sit away from her, but the room was small and it turns out we’re on the same treatment. she asked a number of self centered questions and it was clear she was freaked out, but she and her guy were distracting. when we were discussing sex after treatment, they wanted to make it clear they had a very healthy sex life. i had an involuntary grimace, which made one of the other husbands there chuckle. this woman also didn’t like my attitude about wigs, even though the nurse said that we should be comfortable with our decisions. i can’t be too upset, because cancer patients don’t need trolls, but it was not a fun class. the worst part was when she told me i was too young and immature to have cancer. i told her my tumor didn’t get the memo. some people seemed amused by my comeback, but it was just awkward. the woman and her husband didn’t follow the rest of us on the tour of the infusion lounge, which made me feel even worse because it was clear she was freaking out.

maybe i should try to avoid other cancer patients for now. i feel all right and i think my attitude doesn’t match a lot of people so far. i think some people have found it refreshing so far, like my nurse who said i had such a good outlook today. other people don’t like it, and those are the people who seem to need lots of help, so maybe i should avoid them? that sounds stupid.

oh well, i got my pills with some people from class and got my first of 8 potential blood draws. remind me to never get a blood draw when i’m dehydrated. little known fact: i have extremely crappy veins. my oral surgeon joked that i would never be a junkie because of it. i actually had a good vein, but it was on my left side which has been made verboten by them lymph node biopsy. so now i tell them i have no veins and they should just go off my hand. they scowl and probe my arm for a little bit, then give up and jab my hand. it’s only going to get worse.

and that folks, is all about my gross body. tomorrow my implants are going to be filled up all the way and i might get silver hair. we’ll see.

Technorati Tags: breast cancer, chemotherapy

tin soldier

i’m finishing up my cataloguing quiz and listening to the small faces. i love the small faces, i might put them in my top 20 bands. it’s funny how people i met in berkeley weren’t around for my precocious mod youth, so stuff like loving the small faces seems a little off. whatever. if i want to dance, i listen to “whatcha gonna do about it?”- get you stomping.

anyhow… it just hit me, listening to “little tin soldier”, that the female voice is none other than p.p. arnold! she’s amazing.

Birdy, originally uploaded by jgebis.

robojoe’s been putting his fancy camera to good use and took some nice pictures of our back deck. he’s got some others too. we’ll put more up when my parents bring down the tomatoes this weekend. i’m excited.

now i’m going to sit on the deck and read.

Fruit basket, originally uploaded by jgebis.

the institute for which i work sent me this as a get well present. i think joe enjoyed it more than i did. it’s pretty awesome. the fruit is great, and there’s pineapple stars!

if people are wondering how i’m doing, i generally tell them, “i’m awesome!” then people can joke that i’m full of it. seriously, i feel pretty good. not quite 100%, but way better than i expected. it’s been 11 days since surgery and my sides still hurt where my drains were, but it’s not always noticeable. my chest feels numb and tight, but it’s now worse since they started filling up the implants. my plastic surgeon says everything’s going according to plan, so i’m good. i still can’t lift things over 5 or 7 pounds, and i can’t open tight jars, but it’s getting better every day. today, if i can find a sports bra (i purged all my bras the night before surgery), i might try to wear a t-shirt for the first time since surgery.

i did stop taking my vicodin, which has made me feel pain i never knew existed. it’s not excruciating, just annoying- just like this whole breast cancer thing. i’ve been taking two tylenol to compensate, and it helps.

now i just need to heal to get ready for chemo. maybe next week i’ll find out who my oncologist will be. they’re shooting for 5-7 weeks from now, which will put the start date right around my birthday. fun times! after that they’ll make my boobs look better.

Technorati Tags: breast cancer, healing, post-surgery

for one of my classes i need to make a website. i was going to do it about my cancer or maude, but the professor asked if i had any hobbies. i thought about it, and i don’t think i do. i like robots, toys, guinea pigs, bottle caps, and junk. i thought about maybe asking thundershevitz if i could make their website, but i don’t know if the professor would like that.

my ideas right now:

• talking about breast cancer for people under 30 with a somewhat fatalistic view. i don’t know if that’s weird.
• a website about my bottle cap collection.
• talking about records that changed my life.
• ideas you people come up with.

please, help me!