i think i might finally be getting the hang of this blogging thing. it’s two weeks in a row of free advice!!! let’s keep rolling. this weeks is a dr miriam in honour of big brother. you know it’s the summer when davina and dermot are always around.

anyhow… let’s go!

Dear [Kendra],

My boyfriend is a nice person and very good-looking but he does nothing for me sexually.

I’m 23 and he’s my third lover. The other two were art students and weren’t Brad Pitt lookalikes but there was something about them both that could get me going in bed.

I’ve been with my current partner for five weeks and I pretend he’s able to set my body on fire because I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

When he’s gone, I have to reach for my vibrator to do the job he can’t.

He wants us to go on holiday together in the summer but I’ve been putting him off because I’m not sure if we will still be together. Is this lack of sexual attraction a reason to stop seeing him or is there any chance something might develop?

[S.O. Horny]

dear horny,

you need to talk to your boyfriend about this. you need to be honest with yourself first. why isn’t he doing it for you? are you really not attracted to him? then why are you going out with him? are you just thinking of the art school lotharios? that’s not fair to your current boyfriend.

you probably started going out with your current man because he’s nice and treats you right. you want a jerk though, and that’s ok. if you can’t be honest with him just dump him. if you want to salvage your relationship, talk to him about how he’s not getting the job done in your pants.

i hope this helps.

Dear [Kendra],

I have a five-year-old son whose father left me when I was pregnant with him.

But his dad still keeps in contact with him and their close relationship sometimes makes me feel jealous.

My son visits him at his parents’ house every Saturday. When he comes home he cries for his dad and this really hurts me because I have all the hard work of looking after him and being the disciplinarian.

I think that his dad and his grandparents spoil him too much.

[Mean Mommy]

dear mm,

being a single parent sucks. my hat’s off to you. it’s not suprising the slightly there dad spoils the kid because he needs to buy affection. try not to be jealous, but do let deliquent daddy know that his behaviour is not cool and that jr. needs some consistency.

eventually jr. will tire of dd and realise that mm has been more nuturing for the long haul.

i hope this helps.

Dear [Kendra],

My mother-in-law says it is a sign you are unhealthy if your stools float.

Is this true? I eat healthy food and exercise regularly but I’ve noticed this applies to me.

If she’s right, is there anything I can do about it?

[Pooh Curious]

dear curious,

your mother-in-law is full of shit. you’re probably fine, and could do for a little more fibre.

i hope this helps.

Dear [Kendra],

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 18 months and have lived with him for the past year. That’s been a shock to my system. I knew he smoked dope occasionally but I didn’t realise how much until I moved in.

He’s sweet and loving but his drug habit makes me wonder if I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

He’s 30 and can’t hold down a job for long so I’m paying all the bills and becoming more and more resentful. My life feels a mess.

[Doormat]

dear doormat,

your boyfriend is a stoner. if you want to keep enabling him and paying the bills, keep living with him. if you want to make him grow up, move out and leave him. you can’t make him grow up, he’ll have to want it. at least if you move out, you’re not financially responsible for him. if you want a go-getter, meet somebody new.

i hope this helps.