when i was a little kid, i was obsessed with the kinks’ video for “come dancing”. it’s not one of their best songs, but when i was 4 it would make me dance like a freak. it still sort of does.
another song that i can’t help but dance to is style council’s “a solid bond in your heart”.
the video reminds me of absolute beginners, a bit. i need more dresses.
this brings me to my youtube discovery of the night. i don’t know how i ended up looking for it, but i finally found a good live video of my favourite song from the jam- “running on spot.”
i feel guilty that that’s my favourite jam song, since it’s off their last album, but there it is.
when i was teenager i desperately wanted a fred perry polo shirt, but i knew there was no way in hell my parents would fund that. as an adult i buy them, not too often, as work clothing. there are only two clothing labels i’m really a sucker for- fred perry and ben sherman- and my work clothes show it. (actually, you can add american apparel in there as well since it’s plainer than dirt.)
i’ve been looking for this claret and blue and white tipped fred prerry for quite some time. it seemed as soon as i started looking for it, you couldn’t buy one in my size anywhere. well, i found it in my size and i’m going to get it. will anybody else appreciate my style? no, though i have had a couple of patrons compliment me on my shirts before.
see, i’m trying to be somewhat stylish and mod. maybe, when i’m really a real librarian i’ll start wearing the skirts and such and put everybody else to shame.
not really. i just feel sort of good today and that song is in my head.
the show friday night was good and all my fears and anxieties disappeared when we got to the venue. i joked to mimi that it would the be closest thing i’d have to a high school reunion- and i ran into a number of people i hadn’t seen since they left mira loma. it was weird how many people said, “i knew you’d be coming.” people i haven’t talked to in five or more years. yeah, me showing up to a hi-fives show isn’t that surprising, but it was weird how many (10+) people knew i’d be there.
other points of the night:
- driving in rain boots ala the smugglers is hard.
- kids still love mtx.
- it’s weird seeing how “the punks” get old- we all started in similar places and then diverged from there.
- i felt dumb for standing front and centre for the hi-fives, but i also knew i’d be kicking myself in the ass if i didn’t.
- the girl standing next to me kept asking for “andorra” during their set. i didn’t recognize her, but clearly she got her denery brothers confused. i was tempted to correct her, but that would be pedantic.
- it was weird how many people knew i had cancer and how many people didn’t. i didn’t expect more than a handful of people to know, but random people kept asking me how i was feeling.
- people who work in libraries are cool.
- there were some notable absences of people i would have like to have seen. there were also surprising absence from people i was planning to avoid.
- at 25- i’m not really old, but it is weird to reminisce about life 10 years ago. i may not have gotten much taller in the past 13 years, but i’m a better person.
- herr doktor doktor doktor professor doktor doktor kommisar doktor frank gives really good pep talks and should consider a career in motivational speaking for “the punks”.
- john’s still got the jokes. he should send ’em to laffy taffy (or is that his secret?).
that’s all i can think of now. mimi was making fun of me for being so excited/nervous before the hi-fives played but she totally understood after the set. i’m going to start re-doing the hi-fives site because it’s fugly and css is in.
that’s all. i gotta get ready for rock band with elbert and mimi.
lately i’ve been feeling generally anxious. i think it has to do with the general wear and tear of life. i’ve not had a break in over a year and i’m starting to question pretty much everything i’m doing. do i really want to be a librarian? do i want to stick it out in the bay area for ever? is there anything else i can do to change things?
i think it’s all burnout from the cancer. i also think i’m still depressed which is making me not want to work at kalx or keep up with school, but i can’t really back out of it.
the hi-fives show this weekend has made things worse i think. for one thing, it’s made me realize my life hasn’t progressed much in 10 years. i’m still in northern california doing pretty much the same thing. yeah, i have a college degree and a job with health care and a life partner, but what else? i know i’ve discussed my personal angst with my lot in life in relation to the hi-fives on this blog before, so i won’t go into it again, but suffice to say- i’m a big nervous mess. most of my friends have moved on or out in some way, and i just moved from carmichael to berkeley. i still live within a mile of campus. i still work in the same job i had as a student. if i end up there for the next 30-40 years, something’s gone wrong.
things to focus on- i’ll be hanging out with friends like erika and pat from little type and mimi and elbert. i think i’m in a place where i don’t have to prove me love (thinly veiled sweet baby reference) for the hi-fives, rather enjoy myself and try to be a somewhat adult. i don’t have to act like i am a teenager any more because i’m not, but i shouldn’t be joyless either. i have my health, for what it’s worth, and a huge chip on my shoulder. if only i could shed that, too.
right now i’m watching the 2005 ceremony for the uk rock and roll hall of fame. yeah, it’s a little sad but i’m done with school and i need to unwind. in this case i mean wax nostalgic about two of the most important bands to me for the history of forever. of course i’m talking about the who and the kinks. i thought it was great when ray davies inducted the who, because seriously- he’s the only person i would personally put on par with pete townshend.
then who inducted the kinks? the only footballer to score a hat trick in the world cup final- geoff hurst. there seems to be something poetic about the quintessential english band being inducted into a farcical hall of fame by a symbol of english pop culture from days of yore. just like britpop and its descendants will strive to be like the kinks of ’66, the english football team will keep trying to go back to ’66. (i guess things could possibly be looking up since capello is the new manager.)
[tags]the kinks, the who, geoff hurst, england, fabio capello[/tags]