Tagged: hot sauce

hot sauce hogs – perhaps a deeper meaning

ok, so my issues with people who hoarde the hot sauce has already been documented, but it’s really been nagging me recently. here’s my conclusion: people who take the communal bottle of hot sauce back to their table and leave it there are inherent solipsists and ass holes, perhaps with republican or big-l libertarian leanings.

are you a hot sauce hog? do you steal away the tabasco sauce because you’re too inconsiderate to let other diners partake in the spicy goodness? if you are, then you seriously suck. i mean, really, it’s like not tipping your delivery man after he carries your fancy hd tv to your upstairs apartment. (ok, that’s a poor allusion, but you get the gist.) essentially, my issue is that people who do take the hot sauce (or ketchup/mustard/some other condiment) back to their table for their sole enjoyment are placing their needs above the needs of the community. do they have a responsibility to the other diners of the establishment? i would say yes, insofar as they expect the right to use the sauce when they see fit- others should also be afforded the right. if you are somebody so concerned about not having enough hot sauce every instance you need it, don’t hog the bottle- carry your own around! clearly your needs are so special that normal access will not be sufficient.

or screw over everybody else. i seriously think that if you are a hot sauce hog (especially a smug, liberal one), you have a major mark against your character and it will be hard for me to regard you as anything more than a scoundrel and a jerk. dramatic? sure. but i have my principles.